I just realized it’s been a little since I’ve blogged. And, the insanity that surrounds the holidays can be blamed for that :o)
Before we got married, John and I decided that we would have Thanksgiving and Christmas alternate from year to year between both of our families. Last year, we spent Thanksgiving in Orlando and Christmas in Texas. So, this year was flip flopped. We headed out to my mom’s home on the coast (about an hour away) for Christmas week. It was fun to feel like we were getting away, but I was also pretty glad to make it back home to our own bed!
Because of everything that’s happened lately, this Christmas just felt a little different at first. I was supposed to be 21 weeks this Christmas. But, surprisingly, I only had one big cry fest during the day on Christmas Eve. I was really doing just fine in the beginning of the day and then, we went to Denny’s. What an unassuming place to have the start of my tear fest.
There I am. Eating my build your own grand slam, complete with chocolate chip pancakes. Mmmm, chocolate chip pancakes have always been my favorite breakfast! Well, that and biscuits and gravy. I mean, come on?? How can those two meals NOT be a favorite! Anyways, there I was and out of nowhere, everything hit me. It’s Christmas and I’m not pregnant. This Christmas was supposed to be sitting by the tree and dreaming of what our little one on the way would look like. I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting for Christmas to be that hard. I felt like I had gotten through all of the big emotional landmarks until the due date hit, but I guess I was wrong.
But, after I balled my eyes out in the car on the way back home, I retreated to bed for a long nap. It is amazing how a little bit of sleep can make things somewhat better. And, from then on, I slowly got out of my funk and enjoyed the rest of the Christmas weekend! Including lots of after Christmas sales so we can actually have a decorated home next year, haha. I keep telling John, “I can’t wait for Christmas next year! I just want to set out all of our new decorations right now, even though I would have to put them away tomorrow!” But, I guess I can wait ;o)
I must admit, it’s a little weird going into 2010 so soon. It’s funny how I was only pregnant for 10 weeks and 5 days, but with that came a lot of dreams and plans for the future. It’s been tough to kind of switch that off and remind myself there’s not a baby on the way. It’s so crazy how in the grand scheme of life a couple of months is not long at all, but in such a short time, things can change so much. Before I walked through this, I never really thought I would be this affected by being pregnant for such a short time. Boy, was I wrong. Even though we don’t have a baby on the way anymore, may the Lord be glorified through us in the upcoming year of 2010!