Just the other day we had our first visit with the social worker for our home study. She is already a precious answer to prayer and really feel like we have a great resource in her. Most of our visit consisted of questions about John and I’s marriage, our parenting techniques, our preparation for cultural differences, and training segments from our social worker. It was a great experience and next week will be our last visit when she can begin to write her home study report. We’re so excited at the progress!
One of the things that struck me in all that was said over our 2.5 hour visit (which included a tour of our home), was about our child’s birth family. Our social worker said that as our child grows and the questions begin about their birth family, the most important thing we can do is to emphasize life and not to focus on any negative. “Your mother chose life. That’s important. She cared for you enough to choose life.”
One of the most surprising parts of this adoption process to me has been the heaviness on my heart for our child’s birth family. I have found myself awake in the middle of the night praying for our child’s birth parents and wishing I could just sit with them. Since we don’t know our child yet, we don’t know any of his or her history (and we likely won’t share much once we do). But, I have found myself with so many thoughts and emotions.
We have no idea if our child became an orphan out of intention that was good, bad or tragic. There are so many unknowns in general with international adoption, but I have found myself trusting in a known God to meet those birth parents, if they are still alive, with a grace and comfort that only God can give. And, that the gospel of Jesus would find them if it hasn’t already. I’m not sure that a day will go by for the rest of my life where I don’t think about or pray for our child’s birth family. I wasn’t expecting to feel such a burden for them when we started into this process.
But, now I wonder, how could I not? Adoption is born out of brokenness and thankfully, God is in the business of transforming broken into beautiful. But, it doesn’t change the fact that the ashes were there. As a mother already, the thought of not being able to parent my children, for whatever reason, feels crushing. And, while I don’t know and may never know the details of our child’s birth family, I know I serve a God that sees.
He sees our family excitedly preparing to enter in a child from thousands of miles away and yet just as desired as anyone else in our family. He sees our child and has every circumstance under His control. He sees all of the birth family with a powerful love He has for them.
“The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds.”