“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:11-13
The day we found out we were pregnant with baby Warner, we were so very surprised! For each of our kids, God gave me verses to pray throughout the pregnancy. So, I prayed on the very day we found out that God would give me those verses quickly this time around to help make the pregnancy more real to me. And, He provided quickly with Jeremiah 29:11-13 and little did I know how God prepared me even on December 10, 2012, for our sweet baby boy’s life.
Not only has God continued to show me that He is good and never has an intent to harm us, He is a God that hears us pray. And, when we wholeheartedly seek Him as we pray, we find Him. There ended up being many Scriptures we prayed throughout this pregnancy, but I have always returned to this passage. I am in complete awe of God’s faithfulness to go before us in ways that we can’t even fully comprehend.
In several conversations with people, I’ve told them how I really do feel like I did everything I could for baby Warner. And, I add that I not only feel like I did everything physically I possibly could, I did everything spiritual that I could. We boldly prayed Scripture over little man every day, we battled the enemy through the authority given to us by Jesus Christ, I took my time on bedrest to study God’s word in depth, we asked others to join us in prayer even with specific Scriptures to pray, and we ultimately believed, with faith even greater than a mustard seed, that God would heal me and Warner.
After sweet little man passed away, I was holding his little lifeless body and prayed with boldness and every inch of my being. I prayed asking God in complete faith and peace to rewind time and allowing everything to be okay with Warner. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes, I believed in complete faith that God was big enough to even rewind time and allow my son to live a healthy life on earth. A minute or two passed and Warner was still gone in my arms. There was an overwhelming, added sense of peace at the answer that God had not removed my cup of suffering
“And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” -Luke 22:41-44
For the last several years, one of my go to prayers for my own walk and life with the Lord has been Philippians 3:10
“that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,”
And, I can say that God has been answering those prayers. I feel like I am the closest I’ve ever been to sharing in His sufferings. I’ve also come to realize that there is really one ultimate goal as we boldly pray…we boldly pray to become more like Jesus.
His sovereign will is so much higher, so much greater, and so much more peaceful than my own. There is no magic prayer, no lots to cast, no special sacrifice that can produce anything more amazing than asking for His will to be done and it happens.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth,so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” -Isaiah 55:8,9