Ella

Baby Update!

Baby belly at 24 weeks!

Hey Gang!

We had a doctor’s appointment on Friday morning and baby looked great! My belly growth was right on track. Actually, a little above. It always seems to be measuring a week ahead. For example, my last appointment I was 21 weeks and measuring for 22 weeks. This appointment I was 24 weeks and measuring 25 weeks. I told John on the car ride home, I am hoping that means the baby is developing a week earlier and will be here sooner! Rather than the baby coming right on time and I deliver the world’s largest baby (isn’t that every pregnant woman’s nightmare?!). And, somehow, despite my belly measurements, I am only up six pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I was concerned about it, but the doctor wasn’t at all. And, I guess he’s right because I did lose a lot in the first trimester, so when you factor that in, I’m probably right on track.

The baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong as well! And, we still don’t know the gender :o) We decided to keep it a secret and my doctor’s office doesn’t record the gender in the chart when you don’t want to know what the secret is. That way, no one slips up in the office and unless we pay for an extra ultrasound somewhere, we have no way of knowing now! I was so terrified that we would have waited all this time and get to full term or something and someone would slip, mentioning the gender. I am so glad we don’t have to worry about that! Honestly, that was an answer to one of my ridiculous prayers!

The baby still moves around a lot. I was looking forward to the baby kicking the doctor while he was listening for the heartbeat and stuff. BUT, the baby must have known there was a doctor in the room and time to settle down because the baby stopped squirming as soon as the doctor came in. I mean, lots of squirming before and after but not during. Oh well. Maybe I can explain to the child how funny I would find that and he or she needs to kick hard next time.

The Lord has taught me (again) how to enjoy the blessing of this baby every single day. It is very easy to get worried and wonder what might happen (yes, I still get anxious despite the milestones we have passed). Some days I still feel that, “waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under us” feeling. It’s not fun. At all.

But, I am blessed beyond measure to now be carrying a second baby. No matter what bad or good happens through this pregnancy and in this child’s life, God is to be praised. He is in control and I know that. I just need to do a better job at my part of the deal which is to daily lay this baby back at His feet. Of course there are days when I want to say that I did that last time and things didn’t happen the way I wanted them to happen. But, God is gracious enough to remind me over and over again that He really does have it under control. And, I, for certain, know that He’s got a better grip on things than I do.

So, for today, I am blessed and overjoyed to have a little baby kicking around as I type this blog! And, I am beyond thrilled to know that the Lord has this baby and will do what brings Himself the most glory. With knowing that, I know this baby is loved and taken care of beyond what I can do. Glad to know the Lord somehow loves this baby even more than I do!

Daddy’s Baby Already!

So, it turns out we are already 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant!! Time has been flying on by lately! Probably because we have been so stinkin’ busy with the move and lots of fun house guests. I am definitely not complaining that time is moving a lot faster than it did before. And, while I do still get nauseous from time to time, it seems like the vomiting stage (other than a fluke a week ago) ended at 20 weeks. So, woohoo for not puking all the time now! I could NOT be more grateful that the puking did eventually stop and I am not one of the lucky women that deals with it for the whole 9 months.

I first felt this sweet baby move at 15 weeks and the movements have only gotten stronger. And, a lot more frequent. Let’s just say that these days, the baby must not sleep much because the child has figured out how to do somersaults and cool breakdance moves in the weightless habitat. My belly does look very alien-like on a regular basis starting this last week. We’re talking, “um, I think a little foot could bust through at any moment,” type of movements. And, the crazy wave-like movements of my tummy all over the place. The movements are above my belly button sometimes, and below sometimes. Every once in a while there’s a left side jab, but the baby seems to like my right side better.

For the most part, the baby just moves whenever he or she feels like it (which seriously doesn’t matter whether it’s day or night, if I’ve had sugar or not, the kiddo likes to bust a move constantly). But, there is one thing I’ve noticed that brings the baby to freakout mode, jump all around, trying to bust straight through my uterus and tummy into the world to give me a piece of their mind…

when daddy is no longer around.

Whenever daddy’s voice is absent, the baby protests by beating up my insides and rolling around like a mad child.

Shortly after John leaves for work…when he leaves the room…when he stops talking at bedtime, etc…the baby goes crazy. It’s as if the baby is screaming and is trying to ask what the mess happened to his or her daddy.

Don’t worry, I plan to make sure this child understands how much I puked, how many times my back gave out to where John had to scoop me up and carry me to my destination, and how I birthed the child into the world. I am determined to make sure this baby loves me as much as he or she obviously loves daddy.

But, baby, I think you’re right about your daddy. He is just as amazing as you think he is and much more. I can’t wait for you to meet him. He’s so much fun. And, makes me laugh like no one else on earth. Also, he’ll do anything you ever need. If you want to learn a trick, he’s super nice and giving, he would give you the world on a string if he could.

Baby, I’m glad you already love him so much. Because, I always want to protest when he has to go to work and things, too. It’s just not as socially acceptable for me to kick around like you do when he leaves…

So…We…Are…Gonna….Be….

GEORGIANS!!!!
It’s true, we’re moving! No one can ever blame us for having boring lives, that’s for sure. This time last year, we were engaged and planning a wedding on a shoestring budget (which was debt-free and came out beautifully, if I do say so myself). Since then, we’ve gotten married, got pregnant 3 weeks after wedding, lost a baby 10 weeks after that, got pregnant again 2 months after that, now John is transitioning to a new job in a totally new state!! Phew, are you as tired as I am??

After lots of prayer, excitement, and tears, we really believe that the Lord is leading us to Peachtree City, Georgia where John is accepting the Tech Director position at Dogwood Church. The church (which we will be living nearby) is about 15 or so minutes from the Atlanta airport and about 25 minutes from downtown Atlanta.

John’s last day at First Baptist Orlando will be on April 16th and we plan to move that weekend or the beginning of that next week. The timing has all moved pretty quick as Dogwood is needing John to start soon. It’s all very exciting, but we are also sad to leave a church that we have loved dearly. First Orlando was where my walk with Jesus became not just something I talked about, but learned how to live out. It is also the place where I met the husband I learned how to pray for during my youth group days. It is where my husband asked me to marry him. It is where we stood before a room of witnesses and made a marriage covenant before the Lord. It is where I told him that we were expecting our first baby. The church staff and all of the precious people that make up the church have been nothing short of a blessing for the both of us. We have shed many tears over leaving a church that we absolutely adore.

But, the Lord is growing us and stirring an excitement in us for what’s to come. We had no idea that the beginning of our marriage would have so many things going on, so who in the world could guess what’s on the horizon! I am really excited about what ministry opportunities lay ahead for the both of us. And, I really do believe it’s going to be full of lots of great things. The Lord has given us both a better understanding of local missions over the last year and we are super pumped to see how that translates in our new city.

All of you Orlando folk, we love you and are going to miss you more than I could possibly begin to type in a silly blog. We have a guest room that is crying out for you to come visit us!! Also, we will definitely be back sometime in June for a baby shower (yay! maybe I’ll have a belly by then?!) and in November with the babe. With Orlando being my hometown, we will definitely still be around and anxious to see all of you!

Love you all so much! Please be praying for us as we get ready to pack up and move! The transitions that specifically could use some prayer:

–We are finalizing which (out of two) houses we are going to rent.
–I still haven’t found an OB/GYN, I am pretty anxious about this because we are leaving a doctor’s office we love here
–That my body can withstand all of the physical stress that comes with moving, I am quite the sickly woman these days and don’t want to get too overworked!
–For John to work well with his new fellow staff members
–For the both of us to find friendships that are truly ordained from the Lord quickly!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Please comment on here if there is anything we can pray about!

Baby Update!

I am the worst blogger in the world. I always mean to update and then never get to it. My excuse this time around is that I usually feel in a bloggy mood at night. Well, usually I want to throw up like a mad woman in the evenings. Well, and in the morning. Well, hmm, I guess during the day, too. Eh, you get the idea…

But, I did want to update you on our last doctor’s appointment! It was last Tuesday (on the 23rd). I was 15weeks 1day. The baby still had a strong heartbeat, which was in the low 150’s. And, I was up a little weight! I was still under my pre-pregnancy weight, but up from before. Which, that is very good news and I am glad to be at the point where the excessive vomiting appears to be over. I never knew I would get to the point where a little puke doesn’t bother me because overall I am able to keep enough food down. Um, perspective change, much??

Also, I have been feeling some movement, flutters (totally never understood that as a description until it happened!) and sometimes it feels like the baby is popping some popcorn in my uterus :o) I love the little movements. And, as much as I can’t wait for them to be strong enough for John to feel it from the outside, I am totally loving my exclusive one-on-one time with the small human being that has been the source of my sickness for so long, hehe. How could a cute little baby that “flutters” wreak so much havoc on my body? But, those little flutters and popcorn make it all worth it!

We have been praying over our beautiful baby every day. And, I have finally gotten my act together a little more (thank you, Jesus again for the excessive yuckiness being over!). Therefore, I have been able to really pray the Scripture verses that John and I picked for our children over this precious baby. What a sweet time to feel little kicks as I pray Scripture for our baby to answer God’s call on his or her life. I have always loved praying verses over my husband and am now loving to pray for our baby.

Sometime this week we will finally upload our ultrasound picture from week 8! The baby just looks like a cute little blob. But, it’s our little blob :o)

Lost Innocence

Over the last week or two, I’ve had a few nights where it’s been really tough for me to fall asleep. I just lay there staring at the ceiling in the dark and my mind runs wild. I try to control it and just get to bed, but sometimes my crazy thoughts have won.

Like, last night. I was tired and not feeling well, so I wanted to fall asleep quickly. But, instead, there I lay replaying the miscarriage over and over in my head. Laying there, despite how nauseous I feel, wondering if I am just an incubator yet again for a baby that has stopped growing.

Last night, I explained to John some of my fears and he responded with, “Yeah, I kinda feel like since we’ve been excited, that we’re just waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under us,”. Oh, how I couldn’t agree more.

At the same time, we are spending each day excited and with a grateful heart for this baby. There are some people that have not and will not see a positive pregnancy test, no matter how hard they pray. I know that to even be pregnant twice, with two precious children, is a gift. Even if “the rug gets pulled out from under us,” I will be thankful for both times having to be pregnant. But, every once in a while, a dark night creeps up on me and I can’t help my mind wandering.

When I had another night like this one about a week ago, I just kept telling John how we never got to fully experience the innocence and well, naivety of a first time pregnancy. We already know and have experienced what bad can happen in a pregnancy on our very first go at it all. I just think it’s different when it’s your first. Listening for a heartbeat has not and probably will never be a fully innocent experience for us. The very first time a heartbeat was searched for, there was none to be found. When the morning rolled around for us to check for this baby’s first heartbeat, it was terrifying. That experience never had the chance to be innocent or fun.

I’m really not complaining about any of this, I just almost feel sad for the little girl I was when I always dreamt of being pregnant. I couldn’t wait to marry the man of my dreams and we would have the most perfect pregnancy resulting in the most perfect first child. I just feel a little saddened for my first baby that he or she never had the chance to grow or for us to hear his or her heartbeat. I feel saddened for this baby that didn’t get the “belly pictures” every week like the first one, or that his/her first ultrasound was a worried one for us or that hearing his/her heartbeat for the first time was terrifying because we didn’t know if we could trust it.

BUT, if nothing else, we are trusting the Lord. We are putting our hope in Him to do what’s best for us and our little baby; no matter what that may mean. We are expecting for God to do great things despite our fears, questions, excitement, or ultimately, ourselves. And, therefore, I think we are in the best place we can be…full reliance on One that is infinitely worth more glory than anyone else

A Little Phillips On The Way!!

On January 2, 2010, John and I saw the little plus sign on a home pregnancy test. It’s funny how this time around, there was no “I feel like I just got hit by a train, in a good way” statements made. We both just commented on how peaceful things seemed and here we go again! And, then, I’m pretty sure we both just went back to bed! Haha. Hey, it was a Saturday morning and sleep sounded good :o) Our precious little one is due on September 13, 2010, which makes me 12 weeks.

The last two months have been a whirlwind of emotions. This new baby has brought some healing and has also brought to mind sad memories of our first pregnancy. Don’t get us wrong, you probably couldn’t meet two more overjoyed people to have a baby on the way. But, this baby and our first one are two completely different human beings. And, therefore, this baby in no way replaces our first one or causes us to “just get over what happened the first time”. I’m not quite sure if a day will ever come that I don’t wonder what our first baby would have looked like. What he or she would have wanted as their favorite after school snack. Etc. But, at the same time, we are so very thrilled at the possible opportunity to get to experience those things with this beautiful baby.

I can honestly say for the first time in my life, that I desire God’s will more than my own. There are many times I have prayed to experience that 100% or wished that I could figure out how to get to that place. And, these last several months, I think I have really begun to understand what it means to carry my cross daily. The strength of the Lord is what got us through our miscarriage and we believe that if the Lord called us to walk that road again, we would continue to pray for the Lord to be glorified. One of our constant prayers lately is that the Lord would do whatever gives Him the most glory with this baby. If that means to take our baby home to Him, than so be it. But, if it means to let this baby enter the world, than so be it. We pray the Lord will give us this baby to raise, but we can truly say we desire His will more than anything else.

Driving the way to the doctors office almost 4 weeks ago for our first ultrasound, John and I were both pretty quiet in conversation. We played Hillsong United’s “Arms Open Wide” and sang it at the top of our lungs. I had tears in my eyes and pondered what the morning might hold. I also thought back on the devastating 2nd ultrasound of our first baby. Such mixed emotions that day. I brought my clinging cross from this post, and clung as the ultrasound began. The very first second or two, I thought I didn’t see the heartbeat. But, then, there it was. A little blob of a baby (hehe) with a flickering image of a heartbeat. Cool as a cucumber, just kickin’ back and hanging out. And, the baby was 8weeks 3days, which was almost a week past when the first baby stopped growing. What a great morning.

Theeeen, I was put in the hospital that same day for dehydration. I was also diagnosed with hyperemesis, which basically means I haven’t been able to stop throwing up. The actual hyperemesis probably lasted a total of 4 weeks. I wasn’t able to keep any food or drink down :o( I’ve lost 4 pounds this first trimester. I’m still trudging through morning sickness now, but am finally getting to the point where I can keep some stuff down. I’ve joked with John that I have been so insanely sick that I haven’t even had the time or energy to worry about if the baby is going to be fine! Haha. So, I guess the extreme yucky feeling has been a blessing in disguise :o)

One week ago we had an appointment and heard the baby’s heartbeat! As most of you remember, that was our appointment where we found out about our first baby. So, it was such a relief when the heartbeat was found right away. Still pumping nice and strong!! That was an amazing day. All of the euphoria had me feeling better the rest of the day! But, then I was yucky again the next day, haha. But, still crazy excited!

I’ll leave it here for now! But,we know two things, 1) we are crazy excited about this beautiful baby, and 2) this little one will grow up knowing that he or she had an older brother or sister that prepared our hearts to love him/her in a way that we probably never could have before

“My whole life is Yours, I give it all, surrendered to Your name, and forever I will pray, have Your way…”